It’s the prodigal son’s birthday today. No, not Jesus Christ. Someone even more divine: Chris Kamara. So it’s only right we look back at some of the best bloopers from commentators over the years.
Many thanks to the Twitter account @C0LEMANBALLS and the book “Pulled Off At Half-Time” – Football’s Finest Quotes and Funniest Quips for the source material in putting this together.
Enjoy. And tweet us any we’ve missed out at @planetfutebol.
“It’s end-to-end stuff, but from side to side.” – Trevor Brooking
“The lad got overexcited when he saw the whites of the goalpost’s eyes.” – Steve Coppell
“Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.” – Ron Atkinson
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” – Terry Venables
“I would not say that he [David Ginola] is one of the best left wingers in the Premiership, but there are none better.” – Ron Atkinson
“We’ve managed to wrong a few rights.” – Kevin Keegan
“He’s not only a good player, but he’s spiteful in the nicest sense of the world.” – Ron Atkinson
“Have a look at your ref, watch ”
– ROBBIE SAVAGE
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) July 24, 2016
“They’ve flown in from all over the world, have the rest of the world team.” – Brian Moore
“The Italians are hoping for an Italian victory.” – David Coleman
“If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half-time, it was concentration and focus.” – Ron Atkinson
“Glenn Hoddle hasn’t been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson.” – Ron Greenwood
“And now we have the formalities over, we’ll have the national anthems.” – Brian Moore
“The only thing Norwich didn’t get was the goal they finally got.” – Jimmy Greaves
“Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England vs San Marino with Tennent’s Pilsner, brewed in Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste, and England are one down.” – Jonathan Pearce
“Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs team.” – Mike Ingham
Confidence seems to be draining away. You can invisibly see that.
– MICHAEL OWEN
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) July 1, 2016
“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow strip.” – John Motson
“It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.” – Alan Green
“He’s 31 this year: last year he was 30.” – David Coleman
“One or two of their players aren’t getting any younger.” – Clive Tyldesley
“I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the same today, except that it’s completely different.” – Kevin Keegan
Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.
– Metro Radio
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) May 19, 2015
“Ziege hits it high for Heskey, who isn’t playing.” – Alan Green
“Well, Clive, it’s all about the two Ms – movement and positioning.” – Ron Atkinson
“Xavier, who looks like Zeus, not that I have any idea what Zeus looks like.” – Alan Green
“The ageless Teddy Sheringham, 37 now.” – Tony Gubba
“Brazil – they’re so good it’s like they are running around the pitch playing with themselves.” – John Motson
Steven Gerrard looks as though he's been playing for England all his international career.
– Trevor Brooking
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) June 15, 2015
“England now have three fresh men, with three fresh legs.” – Jimmy Hill
“Manchester United have hit the ground running – albeit with a 3-0 defeat.” – Bob Wilson
“Roy Keane, his face punches the air.” – Alan Brazil
“The one thing England have got is spirit, resolve, grit and determination.” – Alan Hansen
“The Belgians will play like their fellow Scandinavians, Denmark and Sweden.” – Andy Townsend.
“More football later, but first let’s see the goals from the Scottish Cup final.” – Des Lynam
And here’s to the main man. Happy birthday, mate.
Roma have the ultimate transfer guru.
Don’t worry, Jose. It’s not you.
It has been a busy week.
Is it even possible not to love Marcos Alonso?
A rare Newcastle positive.
Seven are currently playing in the PL.
Ronaldinho would have been proud.
Would he fit into such a strong side?
More footballers should follow his lead.
We really wish we went on this England trip.