It doesn’t take much for us folk from the United Kingdom to moan, but our rants are admittedly justified when they’re aimed at our putrid efforts to cover live football.
Perhaps we as a nation have simply become too self-loathing, but no matter what broadcasting behemoths such as Sky and TNT Sports (still sounds weird, doesn’t it?) try in order to shake up their coverage, we will almost always find issue with it.
Are we simply too miserable a nation? Quite possibly. But in an era where a cost of living crisis is eating its way through the country and it still costs more than ever before to watch the football legally, we have a right to be a little aggrieved.
Especially when one can – hypothetically speaking – head online and find a – hypothetically – dodgy stream to just about any game they desire for free, or – again, hypothetically – purchase a jailbroken Firestick to access all the games they want without paying the premiums that come with legitimate services.
That is a can of worms that will never be able to be shut no matter how hard the UK tries. And with that can of worms open forever, it’s shown us miserable bastards from the UK what good coverage can really look like.
No, we’re not talking about Richard Keys and Andy Gray shooting the ship on all things hairy hands, Sam Allardyce and ‘proper football’ on beIN SPORTS.
We’re not even talking about El Chiringuito – Spain’s football gossip show which is more akin to pantomime and would absolutely blow up if given English subtitles and broadcast around the world.
Instead, we’re here to praise the Americans for a breakthrough in the football world. CBS Sports Golazo have become the undisputed world champion of Champions League nights, and we’ll hear no other opinion on the matter.
Headed up by the exceptional Kate Abdo – likely to the delight of football’s latest right-wing conspiracy crank and former Bristol Rovers manager – the show is now dominating the timeline on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, to the point where people will use their *very legal* streaming options to seek out the American coverage.
You read that right. Your eyes do not deceive you. Folk in the UK actively turning towards American coverage of the beautiful game. What a time to be alive.
While virtually any alternative is more attractive than listening to ‘Macca’ and Robbie Savage going at ‘Fletch’ on the gantry, or trying not to use half-time coverage with Michael Owen and Rio Ferdinand as an allotted toilet and brew break, it’s not just their drawbacks that put CBS on a pedestal.
The on-air team of Abdo, Thierry Henry, Jamie Carragher and Micah Richards is genuinely absolute gold. A seamless blend of personalities, the foursome simply watch the best teams around Europe kick a ball and have lots of fun while doing it.
While a fully subscribed UK audience has to endure Owen and Ferdinand having a mother’s meeting, CBS Sports Golazo enjoyers are treated with the works.
This week particularly, viewers were in for a treat as Jamie Carragher and Micah Richards locked horns over a diving debate off the back of Manchester City’s win away to Red Star.
Carragher pulls up young Micah Hamilton for blemishing an impressive performance with a dive and – knowing full well Richards would jump to his defence – has an expert bit of analysis up his sleeve.
What have I just seen🤣🤣🤣
Just watch the whole video😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/f5JVpB2PGt
— The 44 ⚽️ (@The_Forty_Four) December 13, 2023
Carra came with receipts. Absolutely stitched Richards up and we are here for it.
In fairness, his point is justified, too. Henry couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
Richards, in action for Aston Villa, pulls off a theatrical dive good enough for Team GB, to the point where his boots end up at eye level and his face is kissing the floor.
That segment is one of many reasons why CBS are top of the pile on Champions League nights right now.
Discussions about sweets and chocolates, Abdo destroying her colleagues, Henry’s wit, Carragher’s poor pronunciations and Richards always being the butt of the joke, the beauty is that Golazo never takes itself too seriously, despite possessing the best of the best in presenters and pundits.
Sod your ‘expert analysis’ from TNT Sports – this is the content we’d pay a blank cheque to see. CBS Sports Golazo has nailed it.
By Mitch Wilks