Stop the world we’re getting off – Cristiano Ronaldo has finally scored a free-kick

The statistics show that Cristiano Ronaldo has scored 64 free-kicks during his illustrious career, yet has cultivated a reputation for being absolutely useless at them.

Perhaps his record at major tournaments colours the picture; Ronaldo has only scored one free-kick from over 60 attempts at the World Cup and European Championship.

Or perhaps it’s the exaggerated routine that lends a certain schadenfreude to any failure.

Ronaldo normally stands with legs wide apart and heavily breathing like a woman in labour, infusing his routine with the concentration of a bomb defusal expert rather than somebody about to kick a football into a wall of bodies.

But the statistics aren’t a misprint; the 39-year-old actually does whip the ball over the wall and into the goal on occasion – and has done so in Al-Nassr’s win over Al Feiha in the Saudi Pro League.

After Talisca gave Al Nassr the lead at the King Abdullah Sport City Stadium, Ronaldo had the chance to double their advantage after a foul on the edge of the box.

Opting for placement over power, in a departure from the norm, the Portugal international curled a delicious strike beyond the wall and into the top corner to the goalkeeper’s left.

Clocks stopped around the world and birds fell from the sky. Rumours that street parties are being readied in Riyadh and Ronaldo’s native Madeira remain unconfirmed at the time of writing.

CRISTIANO RONALDO WHAT A FREEKICK! 🤯 pic.twitter.com/JJAhPniktd

— TC (@totalcristiano) August 27, 2024

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In an interview last week, Ronaldo revealed he plans to end his career with Al Nassr – but probably not for another two or three years.

The superstar dashed any hopes of a return to his first club Sporting Lisbon by confirming he plans to stay in Saudi Arabia until he retires.

“I don’t know if I will retire soon, in two or three years, but probably I will retire here at Al Nassr,” Ronaldo told Portuguese channel NOW.

“I’m very happy at this club, I feel good in this country too. I’m happy to play in Saudi Arabia and I want to continue.”

Ronaldo moved to the Saudi Pro League in December 2022 following his acrimonious exit from Manchester United.

The 39-year-old started all of Portugal’s matches at Euro 2024, where they reached the quarter-finals before losing to France on penalties.

He intends to continue playing for his country, for now at least, and hopes to feature in the forthcoming Nations League matches against Croatia and Poland.

“When I leave the national team, I won’t tell anyone in advance and it will be a very spontaneous decision on my part, but also a very well thought-out one,” the former Real Madrid forward added.

Ronaldo, who is now on 899 career goals, also revealed he has no desire to go into management when he eventually hangs up his scoring boots.

“At the moment, I’m not thinking about being a coach of the first team or any team,” he said.

“It doesn’t even cross my mind, I’ve never thought about it. I don’t see my future going through that. I see myself doing other things outside of football, but only God knows what the future holds.”

After watching Ronaldo blast so many free-kicks into orbit, prompting rumours he’s actually a NASA secret agent single-handedly funding the Space Shuttle program, Tuesday’s effort was certainly a departure from the norm.

And it leaves Ronaldo only one career free-kick behind Lionel Messi. We’re certain he won’t retire until he’s beaten his old adversary.

By Michael Lee