11 potential MOTD replacements for Gary Lineker that are so wrong they’re right
Gary Lineker is stepping down from Match of the Day, so naturally we’ve thought of a list of people who absolutely shouldn’t take his job under any circumstances.
Having been the host of the iconic football highlights show since 1999, the former England striker has confirmed he will leave at the en of the 2024-25 season and step away from the BBC as a whole following the conclusion of the 2026 World Cup.
There are plenty of excellent candidates worthy of the job from Mark Chapman to Reshmin Chowdhury, so we thought we’d have some fun. Here are 11 potential replacements who would be so wrong a pick, that it feels right. Car crashes waiting to happen.
Gary Barlow’s massive son
TV licence fees going through the roof (get it?) to build a bespoke, new studio to fit in this absolute machine of a man. Seriously, still in awe of him.
If the BBC don’t sign him up, WWE certainly will. Get him there for intimidation alone. Shearer will never have a pop ever again.
Matt Le Tissier
Get him on air unscripted for a few weeks and see what absolute chaos he can cook up – or how many weeks of action it takes before Shearer simply lamps him.
That, or pair him up with a goalkeeper. They’re mad bastards – not conspiracy loons, but they’d give him a run for his money.
Was that offside, or is that what the woke VAR mob want us to believe?
READ: 14 of Matt Le Tissier’s wildest conspiracy theories: Weather, Bill Gates, communist takeovers…
Kaveh Solhekol
Get him out of his big, yellow transfer-ridden cupboard at Sky Sports HQ, take his iPad with his Twitter timeline off him and get him a new gimmick.
Man of the people Kaveh, being responsible for delivering football to the nation live every Saturday night. We’d all hate to love it, but we’d end up loving it. We guarantee it.
Mr Blobby
Thinking about it, Mr Blobby probably has more coherent football opinions than most do in the online space these days, and he still wouldn’t frighten as many people as Lineker did when he presented in his underwear.
Sorry, Gary. Low, that one. There for the taking though.
Harry Kane’s brother
Would finally give him enough importance to warrant him having that ridiculous office and the suits.
Picture it – Charlie Kane sat there on his model Harley Davidson in place of his couch, while the mere mortal Shearer and Murphy sit there in comfort like peasants. Glorious.
Jake Humphrey
More of a social experiment to see exactly how much tax-payer-funded ‘High Performance’ it’d take to cause nationwide riots.
We’d give it until the first international break of the season.
READ: 13 times Jake Humphrey was football’s answer to Alan Partridge
Angela Rayner
A cig-smoking MP from the heart of the northwest. Sign us up.
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Wayne Lineker
Keep it in the family. What could possibly go wrong?
The Costco Guys
Something something the Rizzler, something something double chunk chocolate cookie. Are we doing the internet right?
The Americanisation of Match of the Day would send dads across the country into anti-woke overdrive. It’s for that reason alone we’d be tempted to poke the bear.
Alan Brazil
Because mainstream television needs more bald, white men.
Ant & Dec
Opening the forbidden door and crossing the divide from ITV to BBC like Kevin Nash and Scott Hall in the 90s, Ant and Dec’s move would be seismic.
And infuriating after a very short while. Constant shouts of ‘Ya doin’ great!’ and other I’m a Celebrity tropes that haven’t been over with the crowd in near enough a decade, amid ramblings about Newcastle United.
We’d be fascinated to see how many shameless plugs they’d be able to sneak in on behalf of Saudi Arabia.