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Oh Rio...

7 times Rio Ferdinand bizarrely behaved like the main character: Ballon d’Or, Ronaldo…

Mitchell Wilks •

For a man who enjoyed a wildly successful career as a footballer, Rio Ferdinand is doing his very best to be remembered for everything but.

He seems to get where water doesn’t these days, does Rio. The warning signs were there when he started selling snap-backs at the end of his playing career, but things have only snowballed since then.

Somehow one of the most prominent pundits in the United Kingdom, Ferdinand never struggles to make himself the main character. Good, bad, ugly and outright hilarious, we’ve collated the following list of his most bizarre, head-scratching highlights.

Ballon d’Or

We still cannot wrap our heads around this one. Does he have undiagnosed Tourettes? Genuinely?

It’s astounding how such a talented and decorated former footballer can offer such pitiful insight.

Saudi shill

The most inevitable thing imaginable, Rio was delighted that Saudi Arabia picked up the contract for the 2034 World Cup!

He wrote on Twitter: “This is a football loving nation & I’m sure my friends in Saudi would have been celebrating last night.”

We’re sure he has a plethora of friends in Saudi Arabia, and of course who are we to suggest he doesn’t have a deep understanding of their football fan culture? He’s an incredibly detail-driven pundit after all.

A lovely, wholesome message. *Definitely* not one that has involved payment. Never. We’d love to pick his brains on the pedestrianisation of Riyadh city centre.

READ NEXT: 13 countries who would make better World Cup hosts than Saudi Arabia

TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every £10m+ player Sir Alex Ferguson signed for Man Utd?

Deep thinker

No, not that kind of deep thinker, thankfully.

Ferdinand is a unique mind, but he’s not got onto theories about vaccines and controlling the weather. Yet. Instead he takes bizarre selfies from the side on like your exceptionally divorced dad on a trip to Benidorm, donning the first pair of fake Ray-Bans he locked onto. Emojis ‘n all.

Mario Balotelli is – rightly – having none of it.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s best friend

Ferdinand has never hidden his love and admiration for his former teammate Ronaldo over the years. It’s not just been about backing the Portuguese forward, though; it goes deeper.

While never drawn to a definitive answer when quizzed on the Messi vs Ronaldo debate (you’ve all seen the clip we’re thinking of) Ferdinand does his best at every opportunity to remind us all that he’s chummy with CR7, constantly detailing about how they text.

We get it, Rio, you have Ronaldo’s phone number. Do you also run Ronaldo fan accounts in secret, tweeting about ‘Pessi’ being a fraud? We’re onto you.

In The Know

There was plenty of confusion and aimless speculation when Manchester United’s proposed takeover rumbled on throughout 2023.

Thankfully, Rio delivered us an all-important inside scoop in June 2023, telling us he’d ‘heard’ that the Qatari bid had been accepted.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s INEOS would complete a minority takeover of Manchester United that December. It remains unclear if ‘Sheikh Jassim’ even exists.

The observer

Objectively the greatest piece of media to ever be posted on the internet. A masterpiece.

What on earth was he thinking?

YouTuber

A reminder that Ferdinand is a multi-millionaire and an extremely decorated former footballer with no less than six Premier League titles and a Champions League in his trophy cabinet, among other honours.

Considering that, why on earth does he feel the need to bounce around on the touchline like a YouTuber?

Being Thogden is bad enough; being a Thogden imitation is unfathomable. Sort it out, Rio.

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