Oh, mate...

13 of the most cringeworthy penalty attempts of all-time: Budimir, Pires, Nevin…

Scoring a penalty isn’t as easy as it looks, but some players have taken spot-kicks so bad that the entire watching world cringes on their behalf.

Whether it’s an appallingly-executed Panenka, a dribbler hit with all the power of a baby’s punch or efforts skied into orbit, we’ve seen some iconic terrible penalties over the last few decades.

We’ve compiled a list of 13 penalties that were so bad that the taker should’ve retired on the spot.

Ante Budimir

We genuinely don’t think we’ve seen anything like this before.

In the last minute of injury time, Osasuna’s Budimir made a dog’s dinner of his penalty that would’ve levelled the game against Valencia in April 2014.

Stunningly bad. We can’t stop watching it.

Ademola Lookman

It’s never a good sign when you’re team-mates are coming out post-match to make clear they haven’t killed you… yet.

“He has apologised so we will brush it under the carpet and move on,” were the words of Fulham midfielder Harrison Reed after Lookman spurned the chance to earn the Cottagers a crucial draw at West Ham with the last kick of the game.

Tom Cairney echoed the sentiment of Reed, but something tells us some stronger language may have been used after this.

Robert Pires

Still funny.

Peter Crouch

As England limbered up for the 2006 World Cup with a 6-0 thrashing of Jamaica at Old Trafford, hat-trick hero Crouch provided a reminder that England will always be doomed when it comes to penalties with this scooped horror.

Pat Nevin

As Chelsea took on Manchester City in 1984, an overly-relaxed Nevin stood just a couple of yards away from the ball before passing it towards goal.

But like a pea rolling off the plate and across the floor, it travelled so slowly that it was no problem for the City goalkeeper to save. Heroically bad.

French Cup

Even the opposition goalkeeper was p*ssed off with this one.

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Conor Gallagher

Come for the awful Panenka, stay for the Brazilian commentator that makes the moment his own.

Bersant Celina

Swansea’s Celina had a very short run-up for this spot-kick in 2019, before skewing the ball to his right and getting absolutely nowhere near the goal.

It was comically bad, and West Brom stalwart Chris Brunt let him know just what he thought of it.

Sergio Aguero

“I would like to apologise to my team-mates, staff and supporters for missing the penalty,” Aguero tweeted after this failed Panenka against Chelsea in 2021. “It was a bad decision and I take full responsibility.”

Quite right.

Jason Puncheon

Relegation-battling Palace were awarded a crucial penalty against Tottenham in January 2014, with Puncheon primed to give the away side a crucial lead.

Or not. We reckon this effort might have ended up on Mars.

Javier Hernandez

Stoppage time. This to win it. This for the hat-trick… Oh no.

 Simone Zaza

While the penalty – blasted into the earth’s atmosphere – was bad, the run-up was even worse.

In the middle of a European Championship quarter-final, Zaza was reminiscent of a goat impatiently waiting for the rain to stop so it can eat some grass.

Peter Devine

The 1991 HFS Northern Premier League Division One Cup Final should be long consigned to the annuals of history.

Sadly for Peter Devine, it’s not. His incredible penalty miss that fateful day was made infamous by Nick Hancock’s Football Nightmares on VHS, replayed millions of times by viewers at home cracking themselves up at the sight of this calamitous penalty.

Diana Ross

No notes.