Hugo Lloris is about to take part in his first El Trafico.

8 MLS players you’ll definitely remember that are still playing in 2024

There are few greater pleasures in life than looking at an MLS team sheet, doing a double take, and going, “Bloody hell! I didn’t know he was over there now.”

You all know Lionel Messi is out in America, along with Luis Suarez and Sergio Busquets, but some of these other names will cause your eyebrows to enter a different postcode.

Let’s cut to the chase — we’ve picked out eight current MLS footballers that will bloody your hell.

Jordi Alba

El Duracell Bunny himself is one of the modern greats. That’s an undeniable fact.

A crucial part of Barcelona’s dominant early 2010s team that won absolutely everything, the only thing missing from Alba’s career is a World Cup (2010 came just a year too early for him) but, to be fair, he probably doesn’t have any room left for it in his trophy cabinet anyway.

Alba is now lapping up the good life in Miami with his pals Messi, Suarez, and Busquets. Davey Beckham getting the Barca boys back together for one last adventure. Marvellous, isn’t it?

Ravel Morrison

Ravel’s story is a sad one, and we don’t need to go to deep on it.

As a youngster, he was so good that Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes et al would go and watch the academy team just to catch a glimpse of Morrison’s talent.

Sir Alex Ferguson said he was more talented than Ryan Giggs was at the same young age, but he only made three cup appearances for Man United before he was sold to West Ham.

“After the first game in the first team that he played,” Ferguson told Rio Ferdinand via text, “the next morning he came to my office and gave me a letter thanking me for giving him his debut. I was gobsmacked, Rio. The boy had a good heart. He was just beaten by his background.”

Now at D.C. United, Morrison knows he could’ve been truly special, too. “If I could go back in time I would change 90% of my life.”

F*ck’s sake. Dusty in here, isn’t it?

Carlos Vela celebrates for LAFC.

TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every MLS Golden Boot winner since 2005?

Emil Forsberg

It’s easy to forget how good Forsberg is; Leipzig’s playmaker for eight years was one of the best players at Euro 2020.

The bloke scored four goals in four games, and hit the woodwork twice in the Round of 16 match the Swedes lost to Ukraine. That’s more than Henrik Larsson or Tomas Brolin every managed at the Euros, and Forsberg did it from midfield.

Now with New York Red Bulls, we fully expect Emil to rip MLS to very small shreds

Maya Yoshida

Surely the best footballer ever to emerge from Nagasaki, Yoshida taught VVD everything he knows during their time at Southampton.

Probably. We can’t prove that, but that’s what we think probably happened.

The former Japan captain is marshalling the backline at LA Galaxy now. If a generational centre-back emerges from the Galaxy’s academy in the coming years, you know who’s responsible, that’s all we’re saying.

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TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every club to win the MLS Cup?

Martin Caceres

Yoshida’s centre-back partner in Los Angeles? Absolutely rapid FIFA Ultimate Team legend Martin Caceres.

Caceres actually partnered Yoshida in his one and only appearance for the Saints in 2017. They won, as well. Chemistry.

Teemu Pukki

“Love Teemu. I had him in my 2019-20 Fantasy Premier League Team.”

Us too, mate. Us too. The most prolific Finnish baller of all time is far from finished, and has 12 goals in his 19 appearances for Minnesota United so far.

Couldn’t be more pleased for him. Team Teemu forever.

TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every player to score 10+ Premier League goals in 2019-20?

Hector Herrera

The alliteratively named box-to-box machine hasn’t played for Mexico since September 2023 and, all we can say is that better not be the end of him in a green shirt, because we literally can’t imagine a Mexico side without Herrera bossing things in the middle.

It’s inconceivable. Doesn’t make sense. Hate it.

The man could hardly be playing his club football any closer to Mexico, turning out for Houston Dynamo. Call him up, in the name of all that is good in this world.

Hugo Lloris

We’ve all seen the images of Hugo Hadrien Dominique Lloris looking confused as f*ck in the snow, just weeks after leaving Tottenham for LAFC. A 5cm covering lying atop his hair.

In an interview after the game, he talked about playing through the winter in Europe, and having experience of playing in the snow. “The only difference is that I have never played on the snow. There was 15-20cm of snow between my feet and the ground.”

The man is a World Cup winning captain, but we will always be here for football-played-in-the-snow discourse.