9 former Newcastle players we can’t believe are still playing in 2024

Newcastle United have a knack for producing cult heroes and moments of unhinged passion: Bowyer v Dyer, Matt Ritchie & the corner flag v the fan’s penis, Allan Saint-Maximin & the penicopter, Joe Kinnear in f*cking general, Pardew’s headbutt, Stevie Taylor, Aleksandar Mitrovic… and Kevin Keegan would love it, LOVE IT, if we could all just forget about Mike Ashley.

Speaking of King Kev, would you believe us if we told you one of Keegan’s entertainers of the mid-90s is still playing in 2024? Because that is what we’re telling you.

We’ve picked out nine former Newcastle players who we were surprised to see still playing pro ball in the year 2024AD. Come with us on a daytrip to the town of Nostalgiaton.

Keith Gillespie

Gillespie, incredibly, was a key part of Kevin Keegan’s Entertainers. The Northern Irish winger came through at Manchester United as part of the infamous Class of ’92. 

There was big competition for that right-wing slot in the form of Andrei Kanchelskis and Gillespie’s ‘classmate’ David Beckham.

In January 1995, Manchester United and Alex Ferguson were keen on signing the Toon’s ultra-prolific striker Andrew Cole. Newcastle said okay but we want £6,000,000 and that teenaged Northern Irish winger of yours.

The deal was struck and Gillespie, with his crazy pace and delicious crossing, spent the next few years whipping in assists for Les Ferdinand, Tino Asprilla, and Alan Shearer.

Almost 30 years on, Gillespie has been open about his struggles with mental health and addiction—especially gambling. In 2020, the former Magpie—who is now 49 years of age—signed for Mindwell FC in his native Northern Ireland.

The club are set up specifically to help people suffering with mental health issues. We’re not sure how often he’s actually playing, but he’s very much involved.

“They feel like they’ve got a purpose now, going to training and pulling on the boots on a Saturday,” Gillespie told Sky Sports. “Training and playing football was always a release away from the other things.” Good on him.

Mo Diame

Diame scored one of the best sh*t goals in Newcastle’s history back in 2017 when the Magpies faced Brighton in the Championship, during their battle to bounce back from relegation at the first time of asking under Rafa Benitez.

Matt Ritchie hit an in-swinging corner from the right, the Brighton keeper punched the ball clear, the late Christian Atsu attempted a volley from the edge of the box, which skewed off his foot and was heading back toward the corner flag.

On its way it took a nick off of Daryl Murphy’s toe and then hit Mo Diame’s foot at just such an angle that the ball’s natural momentum took it looping and spinning into the air, dipping just under the crossbar and the despairing defender’s attempt at a headed clearance.

Newcastle were promoted seven weeks later.

Anyway, according to all sources, Diame is still playing for Al-Sailiya in Qatar.

Islam Slimani

We’ve had to check the data here, because apparently Slimani only played four games in a Newcastle shirt.

Could’ve sworn it was more. He came in during the 2017-18 season—the Toon’s first back in the top flight under Rafa Benitez. Turns out a thigh injury and a three-match ban shortened the striker’s loan spell.

Slimani is still playing pro football back in Algeria with CR Belouizdad.

TRY A QUIZ: Can you name everybody to wear the No.10 shirt for Newcastle in the PL?

Ki Sung-yueng

Here is a list of places that Ki has called home outside of South Korea:
Glasgow
Swansea
Sunderland
Newcastle
Mallorca

Ki Sung-yeung has only played for football clubs based in cities where you can realistically get three trebles for a fiver if you look hard enough. Legend.

He’s back at FC Seoul now. Hope he had a few jagerbombs with J-Lingz.

Dan Gosling

Can we shock you? Gosling is only 34 years old. How’s that possible, then? We thought, for sure, he must be pushing 45 by now.

He’s playing for Westfield FC in the Mid-Sussex League Premier Division. The Westies are owned by Steve Cook, Gosling’s ex-teammate at Bournemouth.

The midfielder signed for Newcastle in 2010, had a knee injury that required surgery, and then couldn’t get into the first XI due to Yohan Cabaye and the late Cheick Tiote being class.

Gael Bigirimana

Bigi, Bigi, Bigi, can’t you see? Sometimes your goals just hypnotise me.

The Toon fans really took to Bigirimana when he signed in 2012. Unfortunately for the Burundi international, he signed at roughly the same time as Vurnon Anita, who played a similar position in a similar style, and won that competition for a starting spot.

Bigi ended up back at Coventry, from whence he’d come, in 2015. A loan that turned into a permanent transfer. Scored the opening goal of an EFL Trophy Final that Coventry won 2-1, hours after the birth of his first child.

Bigirimana is still only 30 and is now playing for Dungannon Swifts in Northern Ireland.

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TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every player that’s scored for Newcastle under Eddie Howe?

Curtis Good

Six years Good was a Newcastle player. Six years. He made one League Cup appearance, and one FA Cup appearance for the first team.

By the time the Aussie centre-back turned 25 in 2018, he’s played a total of 38 competitive matches in senior first-team football.

In 2018, Good moved back to down under to play for Melbourne City, where he notched up 128 appearances. Better.

Good recently signed for Buriram United (nicknamed Thunder Castle) in Thailand, apparently, playing in front of goalkeeper Neil Etheridge.

Rolando Aarons

Aarons is an extremely on-loan man. Man is on loan more than Darwin Nunez is offside. In fact, he only officially left Newcastle in 2021, which we find insane because we can’t picture him on Tyneside outside of the Pardew era.

That transfer took him to Huddersfield Town, but he was back out on loan again before long, at Motherwell (his second loan spell with the The Well). Now, in 2024, Aarons is with Nogometni klub Celje in Slovenia.

The Geordies had high hopes for Aarons when he broke through. A fast, direct winger who would cut in from the right, he stirred up excitement on Tyneside. But recurring hamstring injuries stifled his development and the subsequent perennial cycle of loans quashed his chances in the first team.

Haris Vuckic

Another exciting youngster who never truly fulfilled the early promise he showed. There were rumours Vuckic had had trials at Milan before joining Newcastle.

The Rossoneri must’ve passed on signing Vuckic, because no player in their right mind would’ve chosen the Toon over AC Milan in 2009.

The Slovenian 10/striker played a handful of games for Newcastle’s first team and embarked upon five separate loan spells to try to develop his talents and prove his worth, but, in 2017, he joined Twente in the Netherlands on a free.

Interestingly, Vuckic also played for Thai side Buriram United but left just before Curtis Good joined. He’s now back with his childhood club, Domzale, in Slovenia, where he will likely face Rolando Aarons.