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5 times Jamie Vardy was football’s biggest sh*thouse: Baiting fans, destroying corner flags…

Mitchell Wilks โ€ข

There is no greater sight in football than watching Jamie Vardy up to his eyeballs on Red Bull and snus desperate for a goal – and even more desperate to retain his crown as the game’s greatest sh*thouse.

No pre-season, no fancy rituals, no moaning, no nonsense. The 37-year-old is a legend of the game in every sense, having bagged 137 goals in England’s top flight despite not playing in the league until he was 27. He’s also an incredible wind-up merchant.

In celebration of the man, the myth, the sh*tbag, we’ve compiled a list of his greatest hits in the art of piss-boiling.

Humbling Tottenham

Vardy produced a moment of sh*thousery so frustrating that Spurs fans in the away end and around the world will have high blood pressure for the rest of the week.

On Leicester’s return to the Premier League, the Foxes hosted an exciting Spurs outfit and had to do so with the 37-year-old leading the line, despite him not actually being fit. Despite Tottenham dominating proceedings, they couldn’t extend on their lead and were punished when Vardy headed Leicester level after 57 minutes.

That in itself was a moment to leave you unglued, but the icing on the cake came as he was subbed off, pointing to the Premier League badge on his sleeve and then gesturing with his hands to the away end that he had won a Premier League, while Tottenham still hadn’t. You never lose it.

A wolf against Wolves

The 2021-22 season ended up being a living nightmare for Leicester, but it started with business as usual when Vardy’s goal was the difference in a 1-0 victory at the King Power.

He celebrated in totally normal, extremely respectful fashion as you could imagine.

Who are we kidding? Of course he didn’t. After bagging the eventual winner, Vardy made a beeline for the away end and immediately howled in their directionย  – like a wolf. Get it? You get it. He’s a nuisance, but we love it.

Hometown heel

Born and raised in Sheffield, Vardy’s first taste of professional football at youth level came in Sheffield Wednesday’s academy, before dropping out of the professional game.

Wednesday have long been his childhood club, though, so when he bagged in front of Sheffield United fans in August 2019 after receiving boos throughout the game, he didn’t hesitate to stand straight in front of the home fans and cup his ears as Leicester went on to win.

After the incident, Vardy doubled down and said he had no regrets: “As soon as I took a step off the coach, I was getting called a pig. Every name under the sun. Sheffield United and Sheffield Wednesday hate each other, and Iโ€™m a Sheffield Wednesday fan, so.”

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The Eagles

We’re starting to think a stand full of opposition fans speaks to Vardy like the Green Goblin mask speaks to Norman Osborn in Spiderman.

He had Selhurst Park absolutely fizzing in late 2019, boiling despite the winter heat after he celebrated a seriously well-taken strike by darting straight in front of the home fans by mocking them, prancing along like an eagle.

Winding up Sheffield Utd (again)

Thought he was done against his closest, hometown rivals? Think again.

With COVID-19 restrictions in full effect and football being played in empty stadiums, Vardy had to find somewhere to let out his passion after his late goal secured a win for the Foxes at Bramall Lane in December 2020.

Successfully finishing a one-on-one after being slipped through, Vardy’s adrenaline takes him to Sheffield United’s corner flag which he slide tackles and snaps into pieces.

Rumour has it they’re still waiting for him to pay the invoice for it.

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