The Premier League table if neither teams got points for a draw: Arsenal lead the way…
Draws are rubbish. Literally everyone on the planet hates them. When Arsenal were 4-0 up at Newcastle, and the Geordies miraculously clawed four goals back to make it 4-4, the two sides finished the game with just one point each. What is the point?
Get rid of them, we say. Or if you can’t get rid of them, disincentivise them further by dishing out no points whatsoever for a draw. You either win, or you get absolutely sweet f*ck all.
We’ve taken all the data and revised the Premier League table so that each team has been docked every point they earned through drawing a match, this season. Some fans are going to like this more than others, looking at the results…
Top Six
The Gunners would be on the verge of a monumental PL title.
Rather than finding themselves a desperate two points behind City, praying for a monumental slip-up from the Sky Blues, Arsenal would be top on goal difference, with the league in their own hands going into the final day. All they’d need to do would be to match or better City’s scoreline in their respective season-closing games.
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Elsewhere, Aston Villa’s Champions League berth is far less secure-looking in our fantasy world, with Spurs two points closer to the Villains and able to close the points gap if they can beat Manchester City.
Mid-table
Wolves starting the mid-table campaign for a rule change.
In the fight for Europa League and Conference League places, Chelsea find themselves three points adrift of Newcastle, relying on the Toon to slip up and allow Chelsea to climb back into the European spots. Whereas, in reality, the Blues are level on points with Newcastle.
Manchester United are still three points off a Conference spot, which is quite funny.
Lower mid-table
Palace have been stalemate merchants, this season.
Crystal Palace drop a place to 13th, with Wolves leapfrogging both them and Brighton to climb up to 11th. The Seagulls have drawn the most games of any team this season, and drop two places.
Bottom
All of this is fairly inconsequential compared to what this table means to Nottingham Forest, though.
Forest would be down on 20 points, still in 17th place. However, they’d drawn one more game than Luton, this season, and so the final day suddenly becomes very interesting in the relegation scrap.
No rule change on Earth could save The Blades.
Forest’s goal difference is pretty much unassailable from a Luton perspective and, in reality, the Hatters find themselves three points behind Forest with one game to play.
However, if draws were worthless, Luton would be within two points of the Nottingham side, leading to a final-day showdown, with Luton playing already-on-the-beach Fulham at home, and Forest away to similarly sunbathing Burnley.
We’re just saying that draws are dull, and the overall Premier League table is more exciting without them. Something to think about, FA, if you’re reading…