11 of football’s greatest ever headlines: Go on now Jo, walk out Kuffour

Quick Reads

The focus on SEO and clickbait has led to a general decline on brilliant football headlines.

It may be childish, but a great deal of satisfaction can be drawn from a witty pun or cheeky innuendo.

We’ve taken a look back at 11 of football’s greatest ever headlines, from the risque to the downright bizarre.


The Italian giants drawing with Bate Borisov sounds quite a boring story, so Goal decided to spice things up a little…

Old Lady unable to Master BATE at home

David Seaman

Pure smut from Sky Sports, which was quickly changed.

Keegan fills Schmeichel gap with Seaman headline

Jo Kuffour

A more family-friendly headline from Sky Sports this time to accompany the story that Jo Kuffour had been released by Gillingham.

Go on now Jo, walk out Kuffour

England v Sweden

After England were beaten 2-1 by Sweden at Euro 92, The Sun were less than impressed by Graham Taylor’s side’s performance.

Swedes 2 Turnips 1

Argelico Fucks

A name like that is headline writer’s dream, and the Palmeiras centre-back’s transfer to Benfica provided sub-editors with an opportunity too good to miss.

Paul the Octopus

We’ve written about our admiration for Paul in the past, and this batsh*t mental headline goes a long way to explaining why.


‘These are the world champions’ is hardly a catchy headline to accompany a photo of Brazil’s team at the 1950 World Cup, but then consider the fact it was printed by O Mundo on the morning of the final…which Brazil went on to lose 2-1 to Uruguay.


It has taken a while for Americans to become fully engrossed by soccer, and so the New York Post gave it a wonderful not bothered anyway-style headline when the USA were dumped out of the 2010 World Cup

USA, again

The New York Post had previously been so optimistic after USA had frustrated England with a 1-1 draw in the opening group match.

USA wins 1-1 New York Post

Nicky Butt

This sounds uncomfortable.

Brum promise internal Butt Probe

Inverness v Celtic

After Inverness shocked Celtic with a 3-1 victory in the Scottish Cup, The Sun sub-editor Paul Hickson came up with this beauty.

“The sports editor rang me up the next day,” Hickson told The Guardian. “‘The whole country’s talking about you,’ he said. ‘Oh dear,’ I replied, ‘What have I done?'”

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