11 reasons why football is *definitely* coming home this summer
England have won their first two games at the World Cup for only the third time ever – and it has very quickly become clear to everyone that football is coming home.
England’s 6-1 win over Panama was their biggest ever in the competition to already ensure the progress of Gareth Southgate’s side into the last 16, but it’s clear to anyone with eyes that the journey isn’t ending there.
Note: This article may but definitely may not be written with tongue in cheek…
In 2010, Guardiola won the title in Spain with Barcelona. Spain won the World Cup.
In 2014, Guardiola won the title in Germany with Bayern Munich. Germany won the World Cup.
In 2018, Guardiola won the title in England with Manchester City. So England are obviously going to win the World Cup.
Russia have won their first two games at the World Cup.
Can you guess the last time they won their first two games at a World Cup? Yep, 1966.
‘Hello, is that England?” 😂⚽️ pic.twitter.com/Ie2R1y0gr5
— SPORTbible (@sportbible) June 19, 2018
You know Burnley have made it to Europe? You’re not going to believe the last time that happened.
1966. You read that right. Nineteen-sixty-six. It’s definitely coming home.
Gareth Southgate’s waistcoat
David Beckham is not only extremely fashionable, he’s also very, very successful. And we have found literally several pictures of him wearing a waistcoat, just like Gaz.
In fact, remember in 2010 when he went to the World Cup in some sort of Mr. Motivator role? It had absolutely no positive effect whatsoever, but Beckham, well aware of the phrase ‘dress for success’ wore a waistcoat.
And even when it got really, really warm in Nizhny Novgorod as England battered Panama, our Gaz kept his glorious waistcoat firmly in place.
He’s got a lot more say than Beckham did eight years ago, and the Jules Rimet is definitely getting lifted by a beautiful waistcoat-clad man.
remember when David Beckham went to the 2010 World Cup as England's head cheer leader ? pic.twitter.com/XHMfsJu9ik
— Dan (@__danevans) May 13, 2014
There are literally thousands of songs which inform us sun is better than rain. Good things happen when it’s sunny.
It was probably dead sunny in 1966. And it’s really bloody sunny now.
In 1990 and 1996 England made their way to semi-finals to the tune of World In Motion and Three Lions, two absolutely iconic England anthems.
Yet in 2010, England were dumped out in the round of 16 with James Corden and Dizzee Rascal’s questionable effort behind them, while two years later, Chris Kamara couldn’t inspire anything different.
Since that proves that, in this day and age, no-one can be trusted to make a decent World Cup song, this year we’ve gone to Russia without one. Which means it’s coming home to that exact tune.
England’s highest-scoring World Cup campaign unsurprisingly came in 1966, when Geoff Hurst’s hat-trick in the final took the total tally to 11.
Their highest tally since then was the eight they managed en route to the semi-finals at Italia 1990, but Kane and co. have equalled that after just two games. In other words, there’s actual statistical evidence to say we’re definitely making the final at least.
When this man speaks, we listen.
It's coming home
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) June 24, 2018
When your supporters can do this, the team can do anything.
— chlo (@ChloeStreet_) June 24, 2018
Some negative nellies might use this very article as proof that England fans are getting a tad carried away after the first two games.
It’s certainly grinding Roy Keane’s gears having to sit alongside a giddy Ian Wright in the ITV studio, and the thought of him getting more and more wound up as England progress is so
wonderfully exciting scary that surely, surely, the football Gods are going to make it happen?
— Kevin Palmer (@RealKevinPalmer) June 24, 2018
OK so this is a bit serious now, but to the naysayers who have been pointing out Tunisia and Panama are hardly giants of international football, we say it’s the year of the underdog.
Brazil? Couldn’t beat Switzerland. Germany? Lost to Mexico. Spain? Needed a fluke to beat Iran.
All together now: We Still Believe…