13 of the best stories about Gazza: Trout, yachts, pneumatic drills & more

Planet Football • 27 May 2023

Every English football fan loves Paul Gascoigne. And for good reason.

As well as being an excellent footballer, Gazza was known for his hilarious antics both off and on the field, which only added to the general public’s infatuation with the star.

We’ve taken a look through the archives and dug out some of the best tales and anecdotes about the great man, showing his brilliant humour and unbelievable mind.

Hidden trout

Gazza was well known for loving fishing, and also taking to it when he couldn’t sleep at night.

Former Rangers team-mate Ally McCoist recalled this hilarious tale of the midfielder arriving to training with two trout, and proceeding to hide them in Gordon Durie’s car.

**Fcking wnker**

The overlords at the Italia ’90 World Cup had the great idea of getting players to mouth their names to be shown on team line-up announcements during television coverage.

Only no-one noticed that Gazza instead opted to mouth the above phrase, forcing broadcasters around the world to use the clip before every match.

Mr Fiat

Staying at Italia ’90, and John Barnes this time recalls the moment after the third/fourth place play-off.

The owner of Juventus, who also owns Fiat, came into the dressing room after the game and wanted to meet Gazza, who greeted him in a particular way.

Daft as a brush

As the famous quote from Bobby Robson goes, Gascoigne was of course “as daft as a brush”.

After his former manager was quoted in the press saying as such, Gazza arrived at training the next day with a brush sticking out of the top of his sock.

Dougie Smith

Referee Smith dropped his book and cards in a match between Rangers and Hibs back in 1995, with Gazza on the prowl.

The midfielder jokingly booked the official, only to in fact receive a yellow card for his cheek.

📆 | #OnThisDay in 1️⃣9️⃣9️⃣5️⃣…

Paul Gascoigne playfully “booked” the referee after he had dropped his cards during @RangersFC 7️⃣-0️⃣ victory over @HibsOfficial!

To the shock of everyone, the referee didn’t see the funny side and booked Gazza for real! 🔶 pic.twitter.com/RBV5yqCekC

— Football On This Day (@footieonthisday) December 30, 2017

Pneumatic drill

Much to the delight of bystanders, Gascoigne took a particular shine to someone using a pneumatic drill in a London street.

He asked to have “a go” on it, pleasing shoppers as he happily drilled the ground with the huge object.

Gennaro Gattuso

McCoist again, recalling tales from the pair’s time together at Rangers, remembers when Gattuso was training in a particularly feisty fashion ahead of an Old Firm game.

Manager Walter Smith asked Gazza – who had learnt some Italian during his time at Lazio – to tell Gattuso to calm down. But obviously he didn’t do that.

Sun bed

At Newcastle, Gazza decided it would be a good idea to book a number of sun bed sessions for a team-mate.

That team-mate happened to be Tony Cunningham, who is black.

Vinnie Jones

After the infamous ball-squeezing incident, Gazza decided to send Jones a gift in the shape of a single rose.

He didn’t get the same romantic treatment back, though, as he received a toilet brush in return.

Doug Ellis

This particular tale refers to the Aston Villa owner unexpectedly being on a yacht when Gazza was busy mocking new Spurs signing David Platt.

Love this story from Gazza 😂

(via @DavidHartrick) #mmlove pic.twitter.com/GxSIuNaQxF

— Mario Melchiot (@MarioMelchiot) June 7, 2017

Joining Spurs

When Gazza was invited down to London to sign for Spurs, he was put up in a posh Hadley Wood hotel, with his prospective employers footing the bill.

Of course, he brought a bunch of mates with him and he opened his talks with chairman Irving Scholar by saying: “We’d like to thank you for the best three days of our lives.”

Intruder

McCoist, speaking on TalkSport once again, recalled one time where he was woken up by his wife, who said she had heard someone downstairs.

Armed with a golf club, the former Rangers manager went to investigate, only to find Gascoigne delving through the fridge making a sandwich, having happily found the spare key to let himself in.