19 of Peter Crouch’s best tweets: Ronaldo, giraffes, go karting & more
Peter Crouch has scored over 100 Premier League goals over the course of a career in which he has represented the likes of Liverpool, Tottenham and Stoke City.
But while he spends his days being a brilliant and immensely lovable footballer, he moonlights as a hilarious tweeter (and occasional radio DJ).
So much so that when Mats Hummels was recently asked whether Michy Batshuayi or Benjamin Mendy is the “king of Twitter”, the Bayern Munich defender instead opted for Crouch.
As a result, we’ve entertained ourselves by going back through some of Crouchy’s finest moments on Twitter. Just to reiterate, we really, really love him.
— Mats Hummels (@matshummels) April 16, 2018
Better than Ronaldo
Crouch celebrated a goal in 2014 with an imitation of Cristiano Ronaldo, and took to Twitter to mock himself.
ImPECcable 🙈 pic.twitter.com/pTF2VdqcmR
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) December 6, 2014
Robots vs the world
In homage to the infamous celebration, Crouch quoted a Guardian article which came with the dramatic strapline “robots could destabilise the world”.
Calm down I haven’t done it for ages https://t.co/qQhL8GCXdI
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) September 27, 2017
Breaking Shearer’s record
Another user asked Crouch how long it would be until he broke Alan Shearer’s Premier League goalscoring record.
I've worked it out and retirement age in england is 65 isn't it so I should come close https://t.co/NFLphXaR3H
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) July 30, 2017
Promoting his column
Turns out he’s not actually that fussed whether you read it or not.
Here’s this weeks column get involved or don’t it’s up to you https://t.co/1T9wmpcaXK
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) December 15, 2017
This is the real FIFA scandal.
I knew there was problems with decision making at FIFA when I didn't make the ballon d'Or shortlist
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) November 14, 2014
The giant striker posed for a picture with a jockey, and it was only going to end one way.
Perhaps I shouldn't stand next to jockeys 😕 pic.twitter.com/c3Ah9c9Pca
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) January 22, 2015
A career highlight
Who beat him?!
I've had some proud moments in my career but 2nd in the dads race today was special .
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) June 30, 2017
Yep, definitely one to stay away from.
I would have stepped in 🙈 pic.twitter.com/XVIu7iw9Tc
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) September 12, 2015
After Ronaldo’s effort against Juventus. But was Crouch’s better?
There is only a few of us who can do that
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) April 3, 2018
After his team-mate netted a 20-yard overhead at the Euros.
I'm glad shaqiri has been watching me in training 😉
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) June 25, 2016
Potentially the best of the bunch.
Summer for me is about time with family . pic.twitter.com/dtft1CZoyl
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) June 19, 2017
He’s still hoping, but at least he has a back-up plan.
I shall be attending ! Unless I get a call up 😒 https://t.co/ZRnPLFDwrP
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) October 20, 2017
And in response to not making the 2016 squad.
Apart from one tall error I think that's the best squad we have available #EURO2016
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) May 16, 2016
A very tall man on top of a podium…
King of the go kart podium . 🏁 Only wish I didn't have to take the ceiling tile off to enjoy it 🙈 pic.twitter.com/O6fjptu0EJ
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) February 4, 2015
Crocuhy knows how to get them #numbers.
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) October 3, 2014
Just imagine Crouch and Salah up top for Liverpool.
If salah didnt panic in front of goal he’d score more 🤪
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) February 14, 2018
In response to the news the game was returning.
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) August 22, 2017
Not done with Ronaldo, Crouch quoted a tweet which compared his Champions League record to that of Lionel Messi’s.
Messi caught up in better than crouch shock https://t.co/zdL8h4GWYu
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) March 15, 2018
When he moved to Stoke, Crouch was reportedly “in a helicopter on the way to the ground”. He later revealed he was in McDonald’s eating chicken nuggets.
Technical fault with the chopper . Looks like I'm staying put . #DeadlineDay
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) August 31, 2016