30 hilarious Kevin Keegan quotes: ‘There’ll be no siestas in Madrid tonight’

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A hero for both Liverpool and Newcastle United, Kevin Keegan is one of English football’s great personalities.

The only British player to win the Ballon d’Or twice, Keegan was a star both on the pitch and off it, while he also has a unique way with words.

We’ve rounded up some of King Kev’s funniest quotes, which fall handily into separate categories.

Philosophy

– “I know what is around the corner – I just don’t know where the corner is.”

– “Life wouldn’t be worth living if you could buy confidence because the rich people would have it all and everybody else would… would have to make their own arrangements.”

Geography

– “Argentina won’t be at Euro 2000 because they’re from South America.”

– “Not many teams will come to Arsenal and get anything, home or away.”

– “I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the same today, except that it’s totally different.”

– “He can’t speak Turkey, but you can tell he’s delighted.”

– “There’ll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.”

– “England have the best fans in the world and Scotland’s fans are second-to-none.”

– “You’re not just getting international football, you’re getting world football.”

Maths

– “They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.”

– “The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23.”

– “The good news for Nigeria is that they’re 2-0 down very early in the game.”

– “We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine.”

–  “We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half.”

– “Chile have three options – they could win or they could lose.”

Stating the obvious

– “I’ll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again.”

– ”That would have been a goal if it wasn’t saved.”

– “The substitute is about to come on – he’s a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.”

– “He scores most of his goals when he’s got the ball.”

Not a clue

– “Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It’s as big as him, which isn’t very big, but it’s bigger.”

– “The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they’re not careful.”

– “I’ve had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.”

– “The tide is very much in our court now.”

– “I don’t think there’s anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.”

– “It’s understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.”

– “Goalkeepers aren’t born today until they’re in their late twenties or thirties.”

– “It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me.”

– “One of his strengths is not heading.”

– “You can’t play with a one-armed goalkeeper…not at this level.”

The classic


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