A forensic analysis of every goal in Everton’s ridiculous 22-0 friendly win

Quick Reads

New boss Marco Silva kicked off his Everton career in some style, as his side defeated ATV Irdning by 22 goals to nil in their opening pre-season friendly.

Kevin Mirallas scored five of the Toffees’ goals and was one of four players to score a hat-trick in a win Everton’s official Twitter account described as “emphatic”.

Naturally, we’ve taken a closer look at every one of the goals scored, from nicely worked intricate moves, to Nikola Vlasic putting the ball into an empty net after the goalkeeper had stopped playing.

1-0: Leighton Baines (4′)

Of all players to be in the middle of the box for a tap-in, you probably wouldn’t expect it to be Baines, who notched Everton’s first goal with their first attack.

Kieran Dowell, who was part of England’s under-20 World Cup winning side last year, made a great burst into the box on the left and cut back a low cross, which Baines was there to finish.

 

2-0: Mason Holgate (8′)

Ademola Lookman, whose name may appear once or twice more reading on, was brought down as he broke away, giving Everton a good chance to whip in a cross.

Dowell took, and as Morgan Schneiderlin’s header was saved, Cenk Tosun took a few swipes before young defender Holgate prodded the loose ball home.

 

3-0: Michael Keane (13′)

It’s all defenders in the action. Moments after Baines was denied by a good save from home goalkeeper David Gabriel, Keane saw a goal ruled out, heading in Dowell’s corner only for the referee to adjudge he had fouled his marker.

Not to be denied again, Keane rose highest to head Dowell’s delivery right into the top corner to make it three.

4-0: Cenk Tosun (14′)

Under pressure from Tom Davies, Irdning’s Sebastien Schmidt played the ball straight to Tosun, who drove forward into the box and fired a decent finish across goal.

It’s worth noting that by this point, the hosts had already abandoned the goal music they had played over Everton’s first couple. If you were live betting on the game, odds on the Toffees’ scoring the next were rapidly decreasing…

 

5-0: Cenk Tosun (16′)

On the end of what was actually a smart passing move from Everton was Lookman, whose shot was well beaten away by Gabriel.

The loose ball, however, fell to summer signing Sandro, who played a low cross in from the right for Tosun to notch his second.

 

6-0: Ademola Lookman (17′)

Everton’s fourth goal in five minutes came courtesy of Lookman, who has linked up with new boss Silva following a loan spell at RB Leipzig last term.

He controlled Davies’ forward ball well before turning and running dangerously at the defence, lashing the ball in at the near post to grab his side’s sixth.

7-0: Ademola Lookman (27′)

It took an incredible 10 minutes for the next Everton goal to arrive – though it wasn’t for the want of trying as Dowell shot wide before seeing a good effort tipped round the post by Gabriel.

Following a good break, Seamus Coleman’s overhit cross was brought down by Lookman who cleverly worked the space for a shot, finishing left-footed inside the near post.

 

8-0: Cenk Tosun (32′)

Lookman was involved again as Tosun became the first Everton man to complete his hat-trick.

The English youngster picked up the ball from Davies and played an instinctive pass forward which cut open the Irdning defence, with Tosun finishing neatly past Gabriel.

 

9-0: Ademola Lookman (36′)

The roles were reversed as Lookman completed his hat-trick, Tosun being played in by Sandro before squaring past Gabriel and finding his team-mate for a simple finish on the stretch.

 

10-0: Cenk Tosun (45′)

They had to wait until first-half stoppage time, but Everton did manage to make it into double figures before the interval.

Lookman again played in Tosun whose dink was saved, but all-bar one defender had given up and the Turkish forward waltzed round the keeper and the last man to roll the ball home.

 

11-0: Kevin Mirallas (48′)

Silva rang the changes at the break, with only Dowell surviving ahead of the second period, but nothing changed as far as the game was concerned.

Gabriel had made a smart save at the feet of Oumar Niasse, but the big striker recovered and squared for Mirallas, who had the simplest of tasks from six yards out.

12-0: Kevin Mirallas (50′)

In a goal which perhaps summed up Irdning’s afternoon, Gabriel chose to roll the ball out in an attempt to start a quick attack, but Everton were one step ahead.

Mirallas nicked the ball back and took one touch before slotting past the stranded goalkeeper from 20 yards out.

13-0: Kevin Mirallas (52′)

The poor poor goalkeeper. We’re not sure whether the defender is making some last-ditch attempt to block the free-kick, or if he’s tracking a run, but all he does it gets in the way.

Dowell was once more involved as his smart run drew the foul, and Mirallas completed his hat-trick in just five minutes.

 

14-0: Kevin Mirallas (59′)

This was actually quite a nice goal, albeit against a defence who clearly just wanted the game to be over.

Mirallas played a neat one-two with Vlasic before dribbling through the penalty area with ease and smashing the ball in at the near post.

 

15-0: Oumar Niasse (70′)

Fair play to Gabriel, who pulled off a top save to deny Niasse, something the stadium announcer even felt the need to give credit to over the tannoy.

But Niasse would beat the goalkeeper five minutes later, his effort from Vlasic’s lay-off taking a deflection which wrong-footed the Irdning captain and found the bottom corner.

 

16-0: Nikola Vlasic (73′)

“Can we reach 20?” the Evertonian commentator said before Mo Besic’s brilliant ball found Mirallas out wide on the left.

He played it into Vlasic, who turned neatly before finishing in a confident fashion across the goalkeeper and into the bottom corner.

 

17-0: Oumar Niasse (75′)

Vlasic was involved once more as his clever turn and flicked pass on the edge of the box found Niasse in on goal.

The striker just about reached it before Irdning’s substitute goalkeeper, prodding it past him before racing to catch the ball before it went out of play, knocking it into the empty net.

 

18-0: Kevin Mirallas (80′)

Niasse went looking for his hat-trick with a strong effort from range which was beaten away well by the goalkeeper, but instead it was Mirallas who grabbed his fifth.

He waltzed into the box and knocked home the rebound as the clearly downbeat defence simply stood on and watched.

 

19-0: Sebastian Schmidt (81′ – OG)

When things aren’t going your way, they really aren’t going your way. Can things get any worse?

20-0: Nikola Vlasic (85′)

Yes, yes they can. Albeit in bizarre circumstances and even Vlasic wasn’t best pleased about it.

The forward was played in by Niasse, and as he wandered towards goal, the keeper just appeared to give up – the linesman had his flag up, but in the end the goal stood.

21-0: Oumar Niasse (86′)

You know it’s been a weird game when a goal scored with a crotch isn’t the strangest goal of the day.

A deep cross was headed by Cuco Martina and just about scrambled home by Niasse – though Martina wanted to claim it himself.

We’re not sure whether he’s claiming the ball definitely crossed the line (why bother) or appealing for offside against his team-mate’s hat-trick goal, but he’s enjoying himself.

 

22-0: Oumar Niasse (89′)

It was the same combination for Niasse’s fourth and Everton’s final goal of the game.

Martina played a good first-time ball across the penalty area and the forward was there to complete the rout.


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