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Youri Tielemans during the Premier League match between Leicester City and Brighton & Hove Albion at King Power Stadium, Leicester, January 2023.

9 of the sexiest disallowed goals we’d have let stand: Tielemans, CR7…

Michael Lee •

We’d consider the reputation of referees as killjoys as unfair until you remember they disallowed these gorgeous goals, including those from former Liverpool and Manchester United players, for mere rules. Pah. 

After a strike with all the rugged beauty of a Banksy mural, there can be nothing worse than seeing an over-zealous official ruling that a minor infringement of football’s regulations is worthy of besmirching art.

Here are nine goals that, in any just universe, should’ve been allowed to stand because of their pure sexiness.

Youri Tielemans

For this crime against humanity, football fans across England should’ve stormed Stockley Park, ripped VAR from its haunches, buried it in a concrete grave and launched it into the sea.

Alexis Mac Allister

Mac Allister scored twice in Brighton’s 5-2 spanking of Leicester in September 2022, but was denied a hat-trick by the kind of jobsworth that ruins your morning commute with a pernickety fine.

Andy Carroll

We can’t get enough of Carroll; the only player to score in a major tournament for England and win the Grand National in the same year.

Despite lumbering around the pitch like Mongo from Shrek 2, the striker is capable of jaw-dropping moments of beauty like his two strikes for Reading against Fulham last season.

Who cares they were both ruled out? Nobody with a pulse anyway.

Cristiano Ronaldo

We might have to hand this one to the officials; it’s still extremely funny. To channel our inner Barry Davies, just look at his face!

Kevin Keegan

Keegan was the footballing superstar of his day, transcending the game with his infectious enthusiasm, winning smile and a perm that’d embarrass Deidrie Barlow.

‘Mighty Mouse’ was also a sensational footballer, as evidenced when he lashed home an unstoppable volley against Manchester United in 1981 – only to see the effort ruled out because David Armstrong was ruled offside despite not being involved in the move.

“Ron Atkinson [United manager] was honest enough to admit that the spectacular volley should have stood instead of being ruled out,” reported The Guardian. We wholeheartedly agree.

Dani Osvaldo

Renowned headcase Osvaldo was playing against his former club Lecce when this acrobatic effort flew past Julio Sergio in the greatest piece of Roman amphitheatre since Lions and Christians first mixed.

If we’re being honest, the referee should’ve been imprisoned for applying the rules here. Boo.

Edinson Cavani

Imagine scoring *this* at Camp Nou; both a first-time volley and bicycle kick that bounces in off the bar against one of the best football sides to ever play the game.

Then imagine having it ruled out for offside. Definitive proof that dreams do not come true.

Peter Schmeichel

It’s a goalkeeper! Scoring a bicycle kick! What is wrong with people?!

Trinity Rodman

A lovely flowing move by the USWNT at Wembley was capped by a cool finish from Rodman. A goal fitting of a fixture between the two best teams in women’s football.

Shame about VAR, isn’t it?

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