Most people visit football stadiums to support their team and don’t give a great deal of thought to their surroundings. But there are also plenty that see the football as a day out – and not everybody enjoys the experience.
It’s not cheap to watch a Premier League game live from the stadium. Hardcore supporters feel they have no choice but to attend, of course, but imagine paying £40 to watch two teams you have no emotional attachment to. A scrappy 1-0, dodgy pint of lager and burning hot pie might leave you feeling rather underwhelmed.
With that in mind, we headed to TripAdvisor to find some of the best, funniest and plain bizarre reviews of Premier League stadiums. At least one of these (Manchester City) is almost certainly a spoof…but just imagine if it isn’t…
“Someone vomited right next to my feet and it took 20 minutes for a clear to arrive on the scene. I’m an avid Arsenal fan, but I’ll be watching on TV next time.”
“The smallest Premiership stadium and a bit of a trek to get to from the centre of Bournemouth, which seems worth it if your team wins. If they don’t, on the plus side you do get to spend some time by the seaside, which is nice.”
“It was FA cup third round weekend, and the spirit of the cup was alive and kicking. The atmosphere was fervent yet considerate – none of this chanting and singing nonsense you get at other grounds. Here people (approx 390) sat quietly, clapping intermittently and occasionally posturing like seagulls. I even saw a leprechaun in the crowd, but alas no pot of gold. Only gold lining Chris Hughton’s pocket.
“The game itself was of high quality – much akin to my previous experiences of top level football in Tamil Nadu (Chennai Blasters).
“MK Dons away support was awful – chanting ‘you’re not very good’. This was ridiculous as they were losing and in the league below. Do your research you buffoons.”
Nobody has actually reviewed Turf Moor, which is sad.
“I sat where Jose Mourinho harasses the club Dr/Match Referee from it had a pungent smell of something very Bitter.”
“Level of football may vary, but the food is at an all time high”
“I like the scouse pies but don’t really know what is in them”
“stadium is a perfect size not too big, but smells of BO”
“The Mecca of football stadiums. Where you can be 3-0 up and still bite your nails through nervousness.”
“I didn’t actually get to go in and see the stadium from the inside as am not a great football fan and didn’t want to waste money on it, but it is really impressive from the outside”
“The seats were not comfy at all. They were stupid plastic things that flip up when you are not sat in them. What a bloody stupid idea!
I lost 3 pints, some chips and a battered sausage because of this insane feature! Every time I stood up my things went flying and the people behind me were covered in chips and beer that I paid for!!! ‘Bloody hell’ I thought, ‘I will have to remember not to put my chips on my chair before I stand up’. The problem was I was really drunk and my chairs at home don’t pop up like an angry diglett when I stand up!
Also these chairs had no legs!!! Insane!
Worst chairs ever!”
“I went to the gift shop so I could buy my friend a birthday gift for his 21 birthday and I got him a mug”
“The Carling does not taste like Carling should”
“The first time in my life I got a cheese burger without any cheese”
“there was a strange aroma of pies and oatcakes lingering around the place, the food must be good though as everyone there was at least six foot five”
“once again pork on menu. Can’t chefs cook anything else. Disappointed”
“Watford FC has recently adopted this print-your-ticket-self scheme that is bound to spread to other clubs and make life a misery for football ticket collectors. After some debate on where I could get a real ticket printed, I managed to get one for this game. I’m sure it won’t be so easy next time. ”
“I left home early for the match – the plan being that we would eat when we got to West Brom; Ha – 90 mins of misery – not the match – a 1-0 Saints win was excellent – but the time between joining the queue for J1 slip road and parking opposite the ground (about half a mile). Utter chaos – with the traffic on the slip road roundabout utterly gridlocked.”
Alan Partridge skeckersley
“When the floodlights were switched on, it gave me an instant migrane.”
And a special mention for this…
“Is a large venue but not a ‘warm’ atmosphere in my experience. It is hard to say much else, but my friends memorial was good when held there.”
Sometimes it’s okay to go back.
Strap yourselves in. This is a biggie.
Exactly a quarter of them play for Chelsea.
It’s time to stop listening to Three Lions now.
We’d love to see this game played in real life.
They already love his “powerful right leg”.
Leighton Baines speaks to The Mind Map.
Not a good day to be an ATV Irdning fan.
Can we do it all again?
Try getting this Southgate chant out of your head.