Being paid to talk about a football game might sound like the easiest job in history, but as this lot have proven over the years – it’s not always as simple as you might assume.
Many thanks to the Twitter account @C0LEMANBALLS and the book “Pulled Off At Half-Time” – Football’s Finest Quotes and Funniest Quips for the source material in putting this together.
Enjoy. And tweet us any we’ve missed out at @planetfutebol.
“It’s end-to-end stuff, but from side to side.” – Trevor Brooking
“The lad got overexcited when he saw the whites of the goalpost’s eyes.” – Steve Coppell
“Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.” – Ron Atkinson
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” – Terry Venables
“I would not say that he [David Ginola] is one of the best left wingers in the Premiership, but there are none better.” – Ron Atkinson
“We’ve managed to wrong a few rights.” – Kevin Keegan
“He’s not only a good player, but he’s spiteful in the nicest sense of the world.” – Ron Atkinson
“Have a look at your ref, watch ”
– ROBBIE SAVAGE
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) July 24, 2016
“They’ve flown in from all over the world, have the rest of the world team.” – Brian Moore
“The Italians are hoping for an Italian victory.” – David Coleman
“If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half-time, it was concentration and focus.” – Ron Atkinson
“Glenn Hoddle hasn’t been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson.” – Ron Greenwood
“And now we have the formalities over, we’ll have the national anthems.” – Brian Moore
“The only thing Norwich didn’t get was the goal they finally got.” – Jimmy Greaves
“Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England vs San Marino with Tennent’s Pilsner, brewed in Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste, and England are one down.” – Jonathan Pearce
“Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs team.” – Mike Ingham
Confidence seems to be draining away. You can invisibly see that.
– MICHAEL OWEN
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) July 1, 2016
“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow strip.” – John Motson
“It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.” – Alan Green
“He’s 31 this year: last year he was 30.” – David Coleman
“One or two of their players aren’t getting any younger.” – Clive Tyldesley
“I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the same today, except that it’s completely different.” – Kevin Keegan
Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.
– Metro Radio
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) May 19, 2015
“Ziege hits it high for Heskey, who isn’t playing.” – Alan Green
“Well, Clive, it’s all about the two Ms – movement and positioning.” – Ron Atkinson
“Xavier, who looks like Zeus, not that I have any idea what Zeus looks like.” – Alan Green
“The ageless Teddy Sheringham, 37 now.” – Tony Gubba
“Brazil – they’re so good it’s like they are running around the pitch playing with themselves.” – John Motson
Steven Gerrard looks as though he's been playing for England all his international career.
– Trevor Brooking
— COLEMANBALLS (@C0LEMANBALLS) June 15, 2015
“England now have three fresh men, with three fresh legs.” – Jimmy Hill
“Manchester United have hit the ground running – albeit with a 3-0 defeat.” – Bob Wilson
“Roy Keane, his face punches the air.” – Alan Brazil
“The one thing England have got is spirit, resolve, grit and determination.” – Alan Hansen
“The Belgians will play like their fellow Scandinavians, Denmark and Sweden.” – Andy Townsend.
“More football later, but first let’s see the goals from the Scottish Cup final.” – Des Lynam
And here’s to the main man, Chris Kamara.
“The Lionel Messi of goalkeepers.”
This is a lot harder than it sounds.
If you want to win a final, Varane’s the man.
These are bound to put a smile on your face.
Some of the most important transfers in the PL.
Except maybe Phil Jones
Would Man Utd have signed Michael Owen without it?
Think of how good these could have been.
Nineteen to get in five minutes.
We have a new Ornstein.