Pep Guardiola isn’t usually renowned for offering excuses after rare Manchester City defeats, but the excuses he does offer up are usually doozies.
Whilst Guardiola is renowned for his slightly weird and intense aura at the best of times, this quality is heightened after City drop points.
We’ve collected together five of Guardiola’s most side-splitting excuses since being appointed at Manchester City.
Anybody that’s attempted to travel between Manchester and London in recent months has been left a gibbering wreck by this country’s incompetent railway network.
And Guardiola attempted to deflect attention away from City’s 1-0 defeat at Spurs in February 2023 by bemoaning the gruelling nature of reaching the nation’s capital.
“But we go back to Manchester,” he said. “Coming to London is like going to, I don’t know, northern Europe. It is 4 hours 20 minutes, 4 hours and a half to get to a hotel.
‘It’s so exhausting to come to London, I’m sorry.”
Some have suggested that it’s only fair to make London teams do the opposite journey in the other half of the season. It’ll never catch on…
Probably safe to assume Guardiola wouldn’t be giving Avanti (or the Tories) another contract. Felt like a throwaway line rather than any kind of excuse
— Simon Bajkowski (@spbajko) February 5, 2023
City scrapped past Championship leaders Wolves in a 2017 League Cup tie, leading Guardiola to rage against a British cultural institution – Mitre footballs.
“It is not acceptable, the ball was unacceptable for a high-level competition,” the City boss cried.
“It is too light, it moves all over the place, it is not a good ball. It is impossible to score with a ball like that and I say that because we won, I’m not making excuses.
“All of my players said: ‘What is that?’ I’m sorry Carabao Cup is not a serious ball for a serious competition.
“It’s [for] marketing, money, OK but it’s not acceptable – [it has] no weight, nothing.”
After being held to a goalless draw by Crystal Palace, Guardiola slammed the state of the Selhurst Park turf.
“We played to win the game, we created more, the way we played was amazing in a difficult stadium with the grass not perfect,” he said to the pack of bemused journalists in March 2022.
Not enough players
City have been the richest club for most of Guardiola’s reign, but that didn’t stop the former Barcelona manager from moaning about a lack of available players after a draw at Burnley.
Guardiola could only name six players on his bench at Turf Moor and claimed it was “because we don’t have any more players.”
An orchestra of tiny violins could be heard in the distance.
Calling out Klopp
Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool have been City’s great domestic rivals for most of Guardiola’s reign, so it’s only natural the Spaniard has used Klopp’s excuses as an excuse before.
“When I complain to my players, I say when you complain you find excuses and when you find excuses, you cannot move forward,” Guardiola said before facing Liverpool in February 2021.
“Excuses are the worst thing in football. I’m not judging what other people say and I don’t know the purpose of what Jurgen said. You will have to ask him or I will ask him on Sunday. ”