Richard Keys is a man that does not appear too concerned about descending into self-parody.
“Explain this to me. One of the candidates is Julian Nagelsmann. What has he got that the legend that is Frank Lampard, the Chelsea legend, has not?” Keys asked his co-presenter Andy Gray on BeIn Sports last weekend.
“A guy that knows the club inside out, that Chelsea fans think the world of. What has Nagelsmann done? Okay, he won Bundesliga but he’d be hard-pushed not to. Nothing else. What makes him preferable? Is it because he’s German? Young? Rides a skateboard?”
This got us thinking – with thousands of words from Keys’ legendary blog, there is perhaps no better person in the world that can be better imitated by a robot. So we asked artificial intelligence software ChatGPT to write a blog post in the style of the 65-year-old former Sky Sports presenter.
And what better subject than Sam Allardyce and why he’s the perfect candidate to take over at Chelsea this summer.
Keysey bloody loves Allardyce. The former Bolton manager has been a regular guest in BeIn Sports’ Doha studio over the years and Keys has constantly sung his praises.
Last season he suggested that the veteran coach should be appointed as Marcelo Bielsa’s successor at Leeds United.
“I would be on the phone to Sam Allardyce as we speak and say we only have one objective, Sam, and you’ve done it many times… just get us safe!” Keys said at the time.
And back in 2020, he famously suggested that Pep Guardiola should bring in Big Sam to sort out Man City’s defence.
"He could bring Sam Allardyce in on a temporary basis"@richardajkeys offers Pep Guardiola some advice on how he could fix @ManCity's leaky defence.#beINPL #PL #LEEMCI 📺 HD11 pic.twitter.com/YcapARFliE
— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) October 3, 2020
So we asked ChatGPT to “make the case for Chelsea appointing Sam Allardyce in the style of Richard Keys”. The results are terrifyingly accurate, particularly in tone.
Without further ado, here’s the artificial intelligence Richard Keys making the case for why Chelsea should appoint Big Sam:
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to talk about the man, the myth, the legend – Sam Allardyce. That’s right, folks, the same Sam Allardyce who’s been causing a stir in the football world for decades. And I’m here to tell you that Chelsea Football Club should appoint him as their next manager.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Richard, are you out of your mind? Sam Allardyce? Managing Chelsea? That’s preposterous!” But hear me out, folks. Allardyce is a tactical genius, a motivator extraordinaire, and a leader of men. And that’s exactly what Chelsea need right now.
Let’s start with his track record. The man has managed some of the biggest clubs in the Premier League – Bolton, Newcastle, West Ham, Sunderland, and Crystal Palace, to name a few. And what did he do at these clubs, you ask? Well, he kept them in the top flight, he took them to the next level, and he did it all while playing an attractive, attacking brand of football.
But it’s not just his track record that makes him the perfect fit for Chelsea. It’s his personality, his leadership, and his tactical nous. Allardyce is a man who commands respect both on and off the field. He knows how to motivate his players, how to organize them, and how to make them believe in themselves. And with the talent Chelsea have at their disposal, that’s exactly what they need right now.
And let’s not forget his tactical abilities, folks. Allardyce is a man who knows how to read a game, how to make the right substitutions, and how to out-think his opponents. He’s a master at adapting to any situation, and that’s exactly what Chelsea need in a manager.
So there you have it, folks. The case for Sam Allardyce to be the next Chelsea manager. He’s got the track record, the personality, the leadership, and the tactical nous to take the club to the next level. And mark my words, if Chelsea appoint Allardyce, they’ll be unstoppable. So let’s get behind Big Sam and see what he can do for the Blues. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.