The 14 stages of Mauricio Pochettino’s haircut: From Jesus to Lockdown

Quick Reads

There are lots of reasons why Mauricio Pochettino made such an impression as Tottenham manager. Beyond the obvious, like making the club genuinely respectable, the most notable reason was surely his wonderful barnet.

Pochettino has undergone quite the transformation in haircuts since his playing days as a defender for Espanyol and Argentina.

“My hair is natural. I promise you,” the 46-year-old said in March 2018. And, despite the stresses of a decade as a manager, it’s actually looking better than ever.

Jesus

Gabriel Batistuta, Hernan Crespo, Juan Pablo Sorin, German Burgos, Ariel Ortega, Matias Almeyda, Mauricio Pochettino. There was a cruel shortage of barbers in Argentina during the late 1990s and early 2000s.

The ponytail

We’ve only really included this to give a shoutout to Marcelo Bielsa’s mullet and Diego Simeone looking typically menacing in the background.

Curtains

“Now I need to show I’m a serious person,” Pochettino told Tottenham’s official website when asked whether he would ever grow his hair again.

Admittedly, when Mo-Po was first appointed Espanyol boss, he wasn’t quite ready to let go of the 1990s.

Moptop

We all had this haircut at some point in the 2000s. Alex Turner has a lot to answer for.

American teen heartthrob

Chad was the quarterback for the high school football team before injury ruined his dreams of the big league. The heartbreak only made him turn to coaching, and now he’s ready to avenge his broken dreams.

Short and smart

There’s a new lad in the office. Only talks to the girls in Spanish. They all think he’s mysterious. Elbowed you in the ribs during five-a-side. You think he’s a prick.

Mod

Martin Freeman has called. He wants his old haircut back.

Wet look

At times he’s got a bit too into the VO5, especially during his Southampton days. We’ve all done it. We’ve all (hopefully) learnt our lesson.

Side parting

He’s been pretty follically consistent since joining Spurs, has Poch, and you can’t help but admire the thickness and volume to his barnet for a middle-aged man – although there are some controversial conspiracy theories online that he may have benefited from performance-enhancing substances in that regard.

Such luscious locks need taming, and a side parting is certainly one way of tackling such a problem.

Vintage

2017-18 was a landmark campaign for Spurs and Pochettino, as we ranked him first in our list of the best haircuts among Premier League managers.

To quote: “The most cruelly overlooked storyline of the season is how Pochettino – previously so precise and formal – has mastered the slightly messy quiff.

“It looks as if he has just got out of bed, but we all know deep down he has spent a good quarter of an hour in front of the mirror making it perfect.

“Fair play, Poch. It’s a belter.”

Glorious

The following season saw the culmination of the process – this combination of everything that’s ever been good about his hair made us rue the handsome bastard.

Overgrown child

Poch marked Spurs’ Champions League final appearance in his own style. His shorter-on-the-sides quiff made him appear oddly like a teenager scrubbing up before starting a job in their local bank.

Foreshadowing

The Poch end game at Spurs was sad for everyone, but the signs were there. Not the 7-2 collapse against Bayern, but the appearance of an increasing amount of stubble. In fairness, the quiff remained immaculate.

Lockdown 

Pochettino returned to our screens with an appearance on Sky Sports at the start of November 2020, and it’s fair to say he’s nailed life in lockdown a lot better than we have.

In short: he looks fucking incredible yet again.


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