There are few things in life that are truly as brain-itchingly satisfying as landing a successful nutmeg on an onrushing opposition player, sending any spectators around into a frenzy.
In fact, the art of the nutmeg isn’t given enough attention these days.
A move so electrifying yet simultaneously misery-compiling for the poor soul on the receiving end, there is no more humiliating feeling than the one that comes with a ball being poked through your legs, knees and ankles caving helplessly in a bid to stop the inevitable.
Few things in the beautiful game are as devastating. And while it’s usually a poor defender that’s on the receiving end of a move that even The Rock would struggle to out-electrify, the tables have turned in truly glorious fashion.
Benjamin White, you are officially one of the game’s greatest servants and you will go down in history for your heroics.
On an afternoon where Arsenal had the Emirates bouncing with a groundbreaking Premier League win over Manchester City – their first since 2015 – the plaudits went to Gabriel Martinelli for rifling the ball past Ederson with an effort that deflected off Nathan Ake.
While we appreciate the Brazilian’s efforts, it was his teammate who channelled his inner Joga Bonito, loaded up everything he remembered from the YouTube compilations back in the day and sent Jeremy Doku into a nauseating spin.
Doku, who arrived in the Premier League from Rennes in the summer, has taken to playing for treble-winning City like a duck to water.
Since showing up, the Belgian has made it his mission to establish himself as the trickiest, most fiddly b*stard there is since the invention of the glass ketchup bottle – and he’s succeeded.
But after being subbed on at the Emirates with the task of claiming a few more ankles and perhaps winning City the game, Doku was undone by his own superpowers – courtesy of Benny Blanco, who had the bit between his teeth and the Ronaldinho highlights reels coursing through his veins.
Ben White nutmegs Doku.
Love it pic.twitter.com/92gYvKeCho
— Scott (on holiday) Willis (@scottjwillis) October 9, 2023
Oooft. Smooth as you like. See ya, Jeremy.
Centre-backs should simply not be this composed, nor this sickeningly skilful.
Unfortunately, Jeremy, that’s a pretty humbling welcome to the Premier League, courtesy of one Benny Blanco.
It’s a moment so good that Soccer AM would’ve been replaying it for weeks on end with Fenners dressed up as ‘Brad Bobley’ once upon a time. Megnuts of the week and what not.
What’s perhaps most impressive about the entire ordeal is not how White sends the young winger spinning to within an inch of tumbling into the advertising boards, but the jaw-dropping composure he knits it all together with.
Before the killer blow, the English defender shows off with a slick drag back, before poking the ball through Doku’s legs in a fashion almost as slick as his fade.
Can you imagine the greats of yesteryear trying to wriggle out of a tight spot against a pacey winger with that? No, you can’t.
Sorry Gary Neville, but gone are the glory days of practising throw-ins and leaving the winger to pull off the fancy stuff. Be glad you’ve hung up the boots.
White is firing football forwards into the year 3000, one Mortal Kombat-esque, nutmeg-induced fatality at a time.
By Mitch Wilks