Dominik Szoboszlai (C) of Hungary reacts after winning the UEFA Euro 2024 Group G qualification match between Hungary and Montenegro in Budapest, Hungary on Nov. 19, 2023.

Dominik Szoboszlai is redefining what it means to be a baller, one downed shot at a time

Dominik Szoboszlai has long been considered one of Europe’s most promising midfielders, but his stock has gone through the roof since joining Liverpool.

Known for his absurdly powerful shots and accuracy from distance, he couples that up with the most devilishly handsome looks one could ever wish for.

He finally got his much-anticipated big move this summer when the Reds prized him away from RB Leipzig and it’s been pretty much a match made in heaven ever since.

Being blessed with perfect facial hair genetics, an equally perfect face and the ability to score worldies pretty much on demand? Yeah, we’re incredibly jealous.

Szoboszlai is possibly the complete embodiment of everything we all wanted to blossom into as angry teens full of hormones and footballing delusion.

As if he wasn’t living out all of our wildest fantasies enough, the 23-year-old has gone one step further and taken it onto the international stage with Hungary – just to rub it in our faces that bit more that he’s undoubtedly the coolest man alive right now.

Playing for one of the biggest clubs in world football, captaining his national side and scoring bangers in between, Szoboszlai came up clutch with a brace as Hungary put the gloss on Euro 2024 qualification with a 3-2 win over Montenegro.

The first goal in that brace was particularly special. Szoboszlai put the long-range sh*pinger on the shelf for a moment and dribbled his way into the box like prime Lionel Messi, slicing defenders like a hot knife through butter before poking the ball home.

A truly special finish.  At this point, he was a linen shirt and an apple being spit into an opponent’s face away from being officially the coolest man alive ahead of WWE cult hero Carlito.

But when you’re Szoboszlai – the poster boy of Hungarian football – you don’t need an apple. Instead, you head into the stand with fans of your nation and down a shot being offered to you after inspiring the team to victory.

That’s what cool is.

It’s incredibly difficult not to like Szoboszlai. When he’s not pinging shots top bins or pulling off outrageous passes, he’s rallying the troops in the stands and throwing back the drink.

Plenty of Sunday League heroes aspire to replicate the blueprint that Szoboszlai has set here, but fall flat on their face at every single hurdle, from the patchy beard and the long shots going wide, to not being able to keep the drinks down and having to play through 90 minutes of complete hell.

Not Szoboszlai, though. The smoothest of smooth operators and he knows it. Must be nice being the most suave man on the planet.

Forget Carlito, there’s a strong argument to suggest that he’s got a career as the next James Bond if he ever grows tired of playing football.

We can already see him in the suit, Martini in hand. Menacing.

It’s admittedly unlikely, though, because when you can strike a ball like Szoboszlai, you’re never ever going to get bored of doing it.

At just 23, Szoboszlai has waltzed into the Premier League and spearheaded Liverpool’s midfield transformation and is pulling on the armband for his nation, throwing them over his back and taking them to the biggest competitions in international football, one drink with the fans at a time.

That is quite literally the dream.

We could be bitter, but we’d rather just be happy. Szoboszlai, we salute you and we’re desperate for you to keep making our wildest fantasies a reality.

By Mitch Wilks

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