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Joe Newell before his face got a semi-permanent ball indentation on it.

The Scottish Premiership might just have provided us with the most Sunday League moment ever

Andrew Martin •

To the tune of The Proclaimers’ Sunshine On Leith:

My face is broken
My face is broken
Sorrow, sorrow
Sorrow, sorrow

Hibs have had an absolute nightmare. The Hibees got a free kick just inside the Rangers half 6 minutes into their match with the Scottish Premiership leaders, but Nectarios Triantis wanted to get on with proceedings. He then, for reasons best known to himself, sent an absolutely piledriver straight into captain Joe Newell’s face.

Newell goes down immediately. You would. Natural reaction, no thought involved. His legs buckle beneath him and that’s that. He’s on the deck. The ball isn’t done yet, though. The ball has further business.

After briefly giving Newell a concave skull, the ball turns it’s attention to Will Fish. The ricochet flies toward Fish, and tw*ts him right in the dish as well.

Two players down. Ball ain’t finished, though.

After downing Fish, the ball decides it wants another chunk of Joe Newell. Loops back toward the laid-out captain and adds a little insult to injury by landing on his dome.

F*cking superb, it is.

3 x friendly fire
2 x teammates
1 x absolutely insane decision

If this was pinball, Hibs would’ve set the SPL high score. Unfortunately, this is football, and Rangers came out 3-1 winners. Can’t imagine it helped having a captain who briefly had cartoon canaries flying in circles around his head.

Nectarios Triantis, you have had a nightmare, son. Onwards and upwards.

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