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Holloway's right up there instantly...

Ranking the 10 greatest manager rants ever: Benitez, Keegan, Holloway…

Nestor Watach •

Football managers are meant to invoke a sense of calm. Press conferences are supposed to be instantly forgettable affairs. Sometimes, though, the mask slips — spectacularly.

We love nothing more than a proper manager headloss, when they inflict full verbal warfare on an unsuspecting array of journalists.

Here’s our ranking of the 10 greatest manager rants in football history.

10. Gennaro Gattuso

Six words that will live on forever.

The hot-headed Italian looked like he was ready to blow a gasket, sat next to a poor translator, during his time in charge of OFI Crete.

There is a full 13-minute recording of Gattuso’s exchange with the Greek media, but these five seconds are enough for us. An all-timer meme.

9. Antonio Conte

This is the history of the Tottenham.

Conte was always going to be left a broken man by the club’s inherent Spursiness. It was only a matter of time.

Precisely nobody was surprised when he departed the club nine days later.

8. Nigel Pearson

“If getting called an ostrich by Nigel Pearson is not a career highlight I don’t know what is,” reflected Ian Baker, the journalist on the receiving end of Pearson’s both barrels.

Fair play to him for seeing the funny side, even dressing up as an ostrich on his stag do.

We’re not sure we’d have taken it the same way. There’s a quiet intensity to Pearson that’s kind of terrifying. Like your PE teacher getting drafted in as a substitute for maths. Not messing about, are you?

Staring into the whites of his eyes, as James McArthur was unfortunate enough to experience, might’ve left us in therapy years later.

7. Roy Hodgson

Turns out Hodgson is a far spikier character than you’d imagine. Who knew?

We’ll always love this clip for completely altering our perception of reality. Like seeing your kindly great uncle, the one who’d always share his Werther’s Originals with you growing up, outside a Yates’ offering a bouncer out for a straightener.

Lovely stuff.

6. Rafael Benitez

You know something has gone down when The Guardian sell you a press conference by promising “the full transcript”.

For every thousand Friday afternoon snoozefest on a fresh adductor injury or how pleased the manager is by how the lads have responded in training, you get one press conference that delivers gold like this.

“I couldn’t understand Rafa’s thinking in wanting to take on Sir Alex Ferguson, a master of mind games, when we were sitting so calmly on top,” Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard later recalled.

“All the United players told me Fergie was just laughing at Rafa, saying: ‘I’ve got him. I’ve got him’.”

Facts.

5. Ian Holloway

A new entry. Straight in at number five.

You’d think having issues with the FA and minor administrative infractions in the lower reaches of football’s pyramid would be a bit tinpot for a spot so high in this list.

But the sheer fury in Holloway’s voice means we can’t place this any lower. One of the all-time great manager headlosses.

4. Pep Guardiola

The Real Madrid-Barcelona, Mourinho-Guardiola rivalry reached its white hot Apex in April 2011 when they faced one another four times in 18 days across three competitions.

Mourinho had spent his entire first season in Madrid needling Guardiola, who finally snapped back in an extraordinary press conference in which he labelled his opposite number “the chief, the f*cking man” of the press room.

“That was really electric. Genuinely,” recalled journalist Sid Lowe.

“It was in the heart of that crescendo of Clasicos, and it was huge hearing him say that. You weren’t sure if he’d done this planned or if he’d lost the plot, or if this would rebound against him.”

3. Jose Mourinho

We were tempted to put multiple Mourinho examples in here.

There’s a strong contender from almost every stint of his career, from his UNICEF rant at Real Madrid to his extraordinary seven-minute diatribe following Chelsea’s defeat to Southampton in 2015.

We’d wager no single figure in the history of football has provided journalists with as much good copy as Mourinho.

If we have to choose one, we can’t look past his famous ‘football heritage’ speech at Manchester United. It was undeniably self-serving, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t right.

2. Joe Kinnear

There will never be a funnier exchange between manager and journalist than Kinnear’s immortal unveiling at Newcastle United in 2008.

“Which one of you is Simon Bird?”

“Me.”

“You’re a c**t.”

“…Thank you.”

It’s since been calculated that Kinnear averaged an expletive every six seconds over the following, unforgettable, six minutes. WWE wrestlers could only dream of an entrance that explosive.

“His amazing football life, his achievement, his adventures, defying the odds, should be remembered above all,” wrote Bird in tribute to the former Newcastle United manager following his passing in 2024.

“The ‘c*nt’ episode, in hindsight, was an amusing episode that illustrates how a game was changing from force-of-personality, dominant dressing room bosses, to something more tactical, scientific and subtle.

“We went on to have dozens more chats with Joe, where he regaled us with stories, some far fetched, others moving. Rant quickly consigned to history, no grudges held, no offence ever taken.”

Fair play.

1. Kevin Keegan

We apologise for being a bit unimaginative with our No.1 choice, but there was only ever going to be one winner.

You know it. We know it. We’ve watched it a million times and it never gets old.

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Pep Guardiola Jose Mourinho Popular Rafael Benitez